The Skinny on being "Skinny".
I'll be honest, my entire life I've always been "Slim". There've been times when I've teetered on the verge of the "Athletic" build, but for the most part I've never weighed more than 165 lbs at my peak.
People have always reminded me of how "Boney", "Small", "Thin", "Scrawny", or "Skinny" I was, as if they were telling just me the location of the fountain of youth, or I'd never seen a mirror before. I knew it wasn't their intention to be malicious in sharing this "little known fact". In most cases I was being told out of some sort of warpped form of jealousy, but the truth of the matter was I hated...absolutley dispised being told of what I looked like, and whats more, feeling like there was nothing I could do about it.
Growing up, I had a voracious appetite. Unfortuantley I had the metabolism to match. I was, as my childhood friends' mother said "A bottomless pit". I thought, 'If people knew that I can eat as much as them if not more than them, They wouldn't think it was my fault for being 'skinny'". I lived up to the hype and devoured anything and everything non stop, but no matter how much I ate I was no match for genetics, and the "innocent" name calling never ceased.
People, especially kids never quite understood how their verbal observations cut into me. Let's face it, calling someone "Skinny" was never viewed as a bad thing. It didn't bear the same negative connotation as the words "Big", "Chubby", "Chunky", or "Fat" did as far as society was concerned. Even though hearing people say those words sounded as if they meant it the same way. The message was clear to those who heard either side, "There's something wrong with the way you look!"
Needless to say being a boy in a society that says being anything but athletic meant you were weak, or lazy was tough. Not being allowed to show your emotions about something society deemed "not a big deal" was worse. The struggle was real...I wasn't as strong as the other boys, nor as fast. I was just "skinny" and though no one said a word, I was quietly told to just to shut up and deal with it. Which lead to a lot of drug and alcohol abuse, mainly to fit in but mostly to disguise the fact that I was really depressed and didn't know how else to deal with not fitting into societies version of "normal".
As I got older, I started trying out for teams, like J.V. basketball. Surprisingly enough I didn't make the first round of cuts because as I stated before I wasn't as strong, fast, or talented as the other boys. I finally got on the cross country team, which wasn't as fun but at least I was apart of something. Simutaneously I started taking Kung fu. It was there that I learned as long as your were disciplined, and worked hard you can achieve anything you set your mind to. (It helped to learn that one of histories greatest martial artist was only 140 lbs)
There were a lot of harships, and I never actually got any bigger from practicing kung fu, but I became better. Through sheer hardwork, and focus I learned that it didn't matter what size you were, you could excel at anything if you pushed through the barriers you subconciously build around yourself. I eventually accepted my size, but what was more important was that I accepted who I was in my body.
The determination and focus I had gained grew my confidence which allowed my personality to come through and make friends with almost everyone I met. I seemingly began to realize that though i had my own problems, I was the shoulder that most my friends confided in for help in their own personal lives. I was fairly good at helping them deal with the issues they faced.
Even though I hadn't gotten any bigger in stature, I was noticeably more fit. My muscles more defined, and developed. So much so that soon the comments changed. The "scrawny", "small", "thin", "Skinny" boy was now "Ripped".
The reason I bring this up, is to share my experience with body image issues to light, Issues that I at times still deal with. Though they might not be the same as what others had to go through on any end of the image specturm, The ability to empathize isn't lost. More importantly my experience isn't uncommon. In a related article written by Jamie Santana Cruz of the Atlantic
"A new study of a national sample of adolescent boys, published in the January issue of JAMA Pediatrics, reveals that nearly 18 percent of boys are highly concerned about their weight and physique. They are also at increased risk for a variety of negative outcomes: Boys in the study who were extremely concerned about weight were more likely to be depressed, and more likely to engage in high-risk behaviors such as binge drinking and drug use."
We all have something that we're ashamed of when it comes to our bodies, some moreso then others. The point I want to get across is that we don't have fall into the labels that society uses to define who we are. Only you can define you, and we all can do that by striving to be the best version of ourselves. That means treating our bodies like we only have one, eating right, and daily excercise. Be it yoga, walks in the park, swimming, weight lifting or intense cardio. I've met health enthusiast of all shapes and sizes in my journey to find myself and what i've learned is that You don't have to "Look" healthy, to be healthy.
Here is the full article that was cited, and a few others that might interest you.
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/body-image-pressure-increasingly-affects-boys/283897/
https://human.parts/the-problem-with-skinny-men-7cb4d5092a6c#.kq50gf935
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/fitness/the-strong-skinny-type-todays-male-body-ideal-is-more-than-just-being-fit/article23212322/
